Heatwave
Description:
Heatwave was painted in 2018, during my time living in Bournemouth. I had moved there still unaware that I was suffering from BIND - Benzodiazepine-Induced Neurological Dysfunction. By then, I had been unable to work for over a year, with no answers as to what was happening to me.
Despite physical tests showing “nothing unusual,” I began to question myself - my mind, my outlook - unsure how such intense physical symptoms could emerge when, not long before, I’d felt genuinely content with the life I’d built in France.
To pull myself out of that spiral, I followed a long-held dream: I moved to the coast to surf. The waves in Bournemouth were small, but that didn’t matter. I just wanted to be in the water - to feel the flow-state, to feel alive again.
But I quickly realised I was still far too physically weak to even carry a surfboard. I was also battling severe heat intolerance. What felt like mild warmth to others felt like fire inside my body - as if I were burning from the inside out.
So I put the surfboard down. I accepted that surfing would have to wait - holding on to the faith that one day, once more healing had come, I’d be able to return to the sea and the sunshine on my own terms.
The thick, layered textures of Heatwave reflect the suffocating intensity of that time - when heat felt like a threat, and my world shrank to the four walls of my bedroom. The painting was born from the duality of nightmare and dream.
The bold red tones speak to both the longing to feel alive again - being in the waves, moving freely - and the constant danger of a nervous system on fire, struggling to regulate the simplest sensations.
There are 4 ways to own Heatwave:
- Limited Edition Prints (all pieces are signed):
- Small (12" x 12"): 55 available: £40 signed & numbered, free UK shipping (international shipping is extra).
- Medium (18" x 18"): 40 available: £110 signed & numbered, free UK shipping (international shipping is extra).
- Large (30" x 30"): 15 available: £330 signed & numbered, free UK shipping (international shipping is extra).
- Original Painting (comes with Certificate of Authenticity):
- 30 x 30 inch on canvas (as pictured)
- Silent auction format. To place a bid, email contact@toxsick.org.
- Limited Edition Prints (all pieces are signed):
